Delusions of Competency

When I first arrived on Substack, I was afraid that I was at a disadvantage. Many of the great writers here dedicate a good part of their lives to honing their craft while I spend my days in the gym, jotting stories in my spare moments before or after work. But it didn’t take long for me to recognize that my athletic training might furnish me with an unexpected advantage.

Writers, as a group, are plagued with insecurity, battling the ever-present question of “Am I good enough?” Even talented writers whose publishing records and popularity suggest that they should have long since progressed beyond self-doubt.

And this is where my training pays off. True, as a judo and CrossFit athlete, I have never amounted to much. At best, some of my more charitable competitive peers have generously described me as a ‘competent’ athlete. That has never stopped me from showing up for my daily training, or even from competing.

And though the majority of my efforts are pedestrian by the standards of the elites, occasionally, when the event is right, and the stars align, I have enjoyed a few fleeting moments when I outperformed my limitations and found myself, briefly, on par with some of the best in the world. We’re talking a few inspired performances scattered across five decades of an otherwise unremarkable career. Rare as they were, however, the memory of those cherished moments continues to fuel my training.

That is the mindset that I bring to my daily writing practice. Sure, I am aware that my current skill level barely brushes the threshold of competence, but when has that ever stopped me before? And after all, isn’t that why it’s called practice?

And now and then, as fate may have it, other forces take hold my pen and breathe inspiration into the lines that I write, channeling something that exceeds my middling talent. If one of these brings a smile to someone’s face, or inspires them to share their own stories, then it has been worth it.

I don’t need to be the best in the field. I don’t even need to be good. I just need to keep striving to be better, happily pursuing my delusions of competency and hoping I occasionally turn out something worth reading.

Here’s to the journey.

This week on Substack we continue with the Adventures of Kid Quick: https://brainsoupfic.substack.com/p/kid-quick